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Unmasking Love's Folly
Think love triangles, treacherous friendships, and comedic escapades are only found in today's TV shows? Think again. Dive into Shakespeare's world where love isn't just complicated—it's comical! But let's face it: the Bard's language can sometimes be a hurdle.
Journey with Proteus and Valentine, two friends who fall into the chaos of love, betrayals, and misunderstandings. And, for some lighthearted relief, meet Launce and his unforgettable dog, Crab, who effortlessly steal the spotlight without uttering a word!
Feel like Shakespeare's just out of reach? BookCaps is here to bridge the gap. This edition brings you a contemporary translation of 'The Two Gentlemen of Verona', unraveling its comedy in language you can truly grasp.
Relive the classic drama and its modern rendition side by side, immersing yourself in the timeless genius of Shakespeare.
PURCHASE A COPY OF THE TWO GENTLEMEN OF VERONA IN PLAIN AND SIMPLE ENGLISH NOW!
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EXCERPT FROM THE TWO GENTLEMEN OF VERONA IN PLAIN AND SIMPLE ENGLISH
SCENE I. Verona. An open place.
Enter VALENTINE and PROTEUS
VALENTINE
Cease to persuade, my loving Proteus:
Stop trying to convince me, my dear Proteus:
Home-keeping youth have ever homely wits.
Young people who stay at home have very dull minds.
Were't not affection chains thy tender days
If passion didn’t chain your youthful days
To the sweet glances of thy honour'd love,
To the sweet glances of the woman you love,
I rather would entreat thy company
I would ask for your company
To see the wonders of the world abroad,
To see the wonders of the world abroad,
Than, living dully sluggardized at home,
Instead of you living lazily and idly at home,
Wear out thy youth with shapeless idleness.
And wearing out your youth with aimless spare time.
But since thou lovest, love still and thrive therein,
But since you are in love, continue to love and let your love flourish,
Even as I would when I to love begin.
Just as I would when I fall in love.
PROTEUS
Wilt thou be gone? Sweet Valentine, adieu!
Are you leaving? Sweet Valentine, farewell!
Think on thy Proteus, when thou haply seest
Think of your friend Proteus, who you see by chance
Some rare note-worthy object in thy travel:
Something rare and note-worthy in your travels:
Wish me partaker in thy happiness
Wish that I could join in on your happiness
When thou dost meet good hap; and in thy danger,
When you meet with good fortune; and in your danger,
If ever danger do environ thee,
If ever danger surrounds you,
Commend thy grievance to my holy prayers,
Entrust your suffering to my holy prayers,
For I will be thy beadsman, Valentine.
For I will pray for you, Valentine.
VALENTINE
And on a love-book pray for my success?
And will you pray on a book of love that I will succeed?
PROTEUS
Upon some book I love I'll pray for thee.
I’ll pray for you on some book that I love.
VALENTINE
That's on some shallow story of deep love:
That would be the silly story of true love:
How young Leander cross'd the Hellespont.
Of young Leander who swam across the Hellespont, which connects the Aegean and Marmara Seas.
PROTEUS
That's a deep story of a deeper love:
That’s a deep story of a truer love:
For he was more than over shoes in love.
For he was more than shoe deep in love.
VALENTINE
'Tis true; for you are over boots in love,
It’s true; for you more than boot deep in love,
And yet you never swum the Hellespont.
And you still have never swum across the Hellespont.
PROTEUS
Over the boots? nay, give me not the boots.
More than boot deep? No, don’t make fun of me.
VALENTINE
No, I will not, for it boots thee not.
No, I won’t, because it won’t help you.
PROTEUS
What?
What?
VALENTINE
To be in love, where scorn is bought with groans;
To be in love is to be where whimpers lead to ridicule;
Coy looks with heart-sore sighs; one fading moment's mirth
Heart-sick sighs are given disdainful looks; where one brief moment of happiness
With twenty watchful, weary, tedious nights:
Is paired with twenty wide-awake, sleepless and tedious nights:
If haply won, perhaps a hapless gain;
If by chance your love is won, perhaps it is an unfortunate achievement;
If lost, why then a grievous labour won;
And if it is lost, then he has only achieved a sorrowful struggle;
However, but a folly bought with wit,
Whatever happens, it’s only a mistake gained with wisdom,
Or else a wit by folly vanquished.
Or else wisdom destroyed by a mistake.
PROTEUS
So, by your circumstance, you call me fool.
So, by your descriptions, you think that I’m a fool.
VALENTINE
So, by your circumstance, I fear you'll prove.
So, in your situation, I’m afraid you will prove yourself to be one.
PROTEUS
'Tis love you cavil at: I am not Love.
It’s love itself that you dispute with: I am not Love.
VALENTINE
Love is your master, for he masters you:
Love is your master, because he control you:
And he that is so yoked by a fool,
And man that is controlled by a fool,
Methinks, should not be chronicled for wise.
I think, should not be labeled as being wise.
PROTEUS
Yet writers say, as in the sweetest bud
But writers say that just as in the sweetest flower
The eating canker dwells, so eating love
Lives a destructive worm, so does destructive love
Inhabits in the finest wits of all.
Live in the finest minds of all.
VALENTINE
And writers say, as the most forward bud
And writers say that just as the earliest flower
Is eaten by the canker ere it blow,
Is destroyed by the worm before it blossoms,
Even so by love the young and tender wit
So does love turn the young and tender mind
Is turn'd to folly, blasting in the bud,
Into a fool, withering in the bud,
Losing his verdure even in the prime
Losing his vitality just at his prime
And all the fair effects of future hopes.
And all the excellent outcomes that the future might bring.
But wherefore waste I time to counsel thee,
But why do I waste my time giving you advice,
That art a votary to fond desire?
You who are a worshipper of foolish desire?
Once more adieu! my father at the road
Once more, farewell! At the harbor, my father
Expects my coming, there to see me shipp'd.
Is waiting for my arrival, to see me off to sea.
PROTEUS
And thither will I bring thee, Valentine.
And I will bring you there, Valentine.
VALENTINE
Sweet Proteus, no; now let us take our leave.
Sweet Proteus, no; let us say our goodbyes now.
To Milan let me hear from thee by letters
While I’m in Milan, send me letters to tell me
Of thy success in love, and what news else
Of your fortune in love, and what other news
Betideth here in absence of thy friend;
Takes place here in the absence of your friend;
And likewise will visit thee with mine.
And I will send you letters with news of my endeavors.
PROTEUS
All happiness bechance to thee in Milan!
May you only have happiness happen to you in Milan!
VALENTINE
As much to you at home! and so, farewell.
And the same to you at home! And now, good bye.
Exit
PROTEUS
He after honour hunts, I after love:
He hunts after honor, and I hunt after love:
He leaves his friends to dignify them more,
He leaves his friends to bring more honor to them,
I leave myself, my friends and all, for love.
And I leave myself, my friends and everyone, for love.
Thou, Julia, thou hast metamorphosed me,
You, Julia, you have transformed me,
Made me neglect my studies, lose my time,
Made me neglect my studies, waste my time,
War with good counsel, set the world at nought;
Argue with good advice, and consider the world worthless;
Made wit with musing weak, heart sick with thought.
It’s made my mind weak from pondering, and my heart sick from worry.
Enter SPEED
SPEED
Sir Proteus, save you! Saw you my master?
Sir Proteus, God save you! Have you seen my master?
PROTEUS
But now he parted hence, to embark for Milan.
Just now he left here to set off for Milan.
SPEED
Twenty to one then he is shipp'd already,
Twenty to one odds that he has boarded the ship already then,
And I have play'd the sheep in losing him.
And I have made a big mistake in losing him.
PROTEUS
Indeed, a sheep doth very often stray,
It’s true, a sheep might very often wander off,
An if the shepherd be a while away.
If the shepherd isn’t near.
SPEED
You conclude that my master is a shepherd, then,
Are you saying that my master is a shepherd, then,
and I a sheep?
And I am a sheep?
PROTEUS
I do.
I am.
SPEED
Why then, my horns are his horns, whether I wake or sleep.
Well then, since he is my master, my horns are his horns, whether I am awake or asleep.
PROTEUS
A silly answer and fitting well a sheep.
That’s a silly answer and one that fits a sheep well.
SPEED
This proves me still a sheep.
This still shows me to be a sheep.
PROTEUS
True; and thy master a shepherd.
True; and your master is a shepherd.
SPEED
Nay, that I can deny by a circumstance.
No, that I can refute with a good explanation.
PROTEUS
It shall go hard but I'll prove it by another.
It will go badly, but I’ll prove it to be so by another explanation.
SPEED
The shepherd seeks the sheep, and not the sheep the
The shepherd seeks the sheep, and the sheep doesn’t seek the
shepherd; but I seek my master, and my master seeks
Shepherd; but I seek my master, and my master doesn’t seek
not me: therefore I am no sheep.
Me: therefore I am not a sheep.
PROTEUS
The sheep for fodder follow the shepherd; the
The sheep follows the shepherd for food; the
shepherd for food follows not the sheep: thou for
Shepherd doesn’t follow the sheep for food: you
wages followest thy master; thy master for wages
Follow your master for your pay; the master
follows not thee: therefore thou art a sheep.
Doesn’t follow you for pay: therefore you are a sheep.
SPEED
Such another proof will make me cry 'baa.'
Another explanation like that one will make me ‘baa’ like a sheep.
PROTEUS
But, dost thou hear? gavest thou my letter to Julia?
But are you listening? Did you give my letter to Julia?
SPEED
Ay sir: I, a lost mutton, gave your letter to her,
Yes sir: I, just a lost sheep, gave your letter to her,
a laced mutton; and she, a laced mutton, gave me, a
A lacy whore; and she, a lacy whore, gave me, a
lost mutton, nothing for my labour.
Lost sheep, nothing for my efforts.
PROTEUS
Here's too small a pasture for such store of muttons.
This place is too small of a pasture for so many sheep.
SPEED
If the ground be overcharged, you were best stick her.
If the land is overstocked, it you be better for you to kill her.
PROTEUS
Nay: in that you are astray, 'twere best pound you.
No: in that you are wrong, it would be best for me to put you in the pound.
SPEED
Nay, sir, less than a pound shall serve me for
No, sir, less than a pound will pay me for
carrying your letter.
Carrying your letter.
Enter VALENTINE and PROTEUS
VALENTINE
Cease to persuade, my loving Proteus:
Stop trying to convince me, my dear Proteus:
Home-keeping youth have ever homely wits.
Young people who stay at home have very dull minds.
Were't not affection chains thy tender days
If passion didn’t chain your youthful days
To the sweet glances of thy honour'd love,
To the sweet glances of the woman you love,
I rather would entreat thy company
I would ask for your company
To see the wonders of the world abroad,
To see the wonders of the world abroad,
Than, living dully sluggardized at home,
Instead of you living lazily and idly at home,
Wear out thy youth with shapeless idleness.
And wearing out your youth with aimless spare time.
But since thou lovest, love still and thrive therein,
But since you are in love, continue to love and let your love flourish,
Even as I would when I to love begin.
Just as I would when I fall in love.
PROTEUS
Wilt thou be gone? Sweet Valentine, adieu!
Are you leaving? Sweet Valentine, farewell!
Think on thy Proteus, when thou haply seest
Think of your friend Proteus, who you see by chance
Some rare note-worthy object in thy travel:
Something rare and note-worthy in your travels:
Wish me partaker in thy happiness
Wish that I could join in on your happiness
When thou dost meet good hap; and in thy danger,
When you meet with good fortune; and in your danger,
If ever danger do environ thee,
If ever danger surrounds you,
Commend thy grievance to my holy prayers,
Entrust your suffering to my holy prayers,
For I will be thy beadsman, Valentine.
For I will pray for you, Valentine.
VALENTINE
And on a love-book pray for my success?
And will you pray on a book of love that I will succeed?
PROTEUS
Upon some book I love I'll pray for thee.
I’ll pray for you on some book that I love.
VALENTINE
That's on some shallow story of deep love:
That would be the silly story of true love:
How young Leander cross'd the Hellespont.
Of young Leander who swam across the Hellespont, which connects the Aegean and Marmara Seas.
PROTEUS
That's a deep story of a deeper love:
That’s a deep story of a truer love:
For he was more than over shoes in love.
For he was more than shoe deep in love.
VALENTINE
'Tis true; for you are over boots in love,
It’s true; for you more than boot deep in love,
And yet you never swum the Hellespont.
And you still have never swum across the Hellespont.
PROTEUS
Over the boots? nay, give me not the boots.
More than boot deep? No, don’t make fun of me.
VALENTINE
No, I will not, for it boots thee not.
No, I won’t, because it won’t help you.
PROTEUS
What?
What?
VALENTINE
To be in love, where scorn is bought with groans;
To be in love is to be where whimpers lead to ridicule;
Coy looks with heart-sore sighs; one fading moment's mirth
Heart-sick sighs are given disdainful looks; where one brief moment of happiness
With twenty watchful, weary, tedious nights:
Is paired with twenty wide-awake, sleepless and tedious nights:
If haply won, perhaps a hapless gain;
If by chance your love is won, perhaps it is an unfortunate achievement;
If lost, why then a grievous labour won;
And if it is lost, then he has only achieved a sorrowful struggle;
However, but a folly bought with wit,
Whatever happens, it’s only a mistake gained with wisdom,
Or else a wit by folly vanquished.
Or else wisdom destroyed by a mistake.
PROTEUS
So, by your circumstance, you call me fool.
So, by your descriptions, you think that I’m a fool.
VALENTINE
So, by your circumstance, I fear you'll prove.
So, in your situation, I’m afraid you will prove yourself to be one.
PROTEUS
'Tis love you cavil at: I am not Love.
It’s love itself that you dispute with: I am not Love.
VALENTINE
Love is your master, for he masters you:
Love is your master, because he control you:
And he that is so yoked by a fool,
And man that is controlled by a fool,
Methinks, should not be chronicled for wise.
I think, should not be labeled as being wise.
PROTEUS
Yet writers say, as in the sweetest bud
But writers say that just as in the sweetest flower
The eating canker dwells, so eating love
Lives a destructive worm, so does destructive love
Inhabits in the finest wits of all.
Live in the finest minds of all.
VALENTINE
And writers say, as the most forward bud
And writers say that just as the earliest flower
Is eaten by the canker ere it blow,
Is destroyed by the worm before it blossoms,
Even so by love the young and tender wit
So does love turn the young and tender mind
Is turn'd to folly, blasting in the bud,
Into a fool, withering in the bud,
Losing his verdure even in the prime
Losing his vitality just at his prime
And all the fair effects of future hopes.
And all the excellent outcomes that the future might bring.
But wherefore waste I time to counsel thee,
But why do I waste my time giving you advice,
That art a votary to fond desire?
You who are a worshipper of foolish desire?
Once more adieu! my father at the road
Once more, farewell! At the harbor, my father
Expects my coming, there to see me shipp'd.
Is waiting for my arrival, to see me off to sea.
PROTEUS
And thither will I bring thee, Valentine.
And I will bring you there, Valentine.
VALENTINE
Sweet Proteus, no; now let us take our leave.
Sweet Proteus, no; let us say our goodbyes now.
To Milan let me hear from thee by letters
While I’m in Milan, send me letters to tell me
Of thy success in love, and what news else
Of your fortune in love, and what other news
Betideth here in absence of thy friend;
Takes place here in the absence of your friend;
And likewise will visit thee with mine.
And I will send you letters with news of my endeavors.
PROTEUS
All happiness bechance to thee in Milan!
May you only have happiness happen to you in Milan!
VALENTINE
As much to you at home! and so, farewell.
And the same to you at home! And now, good bye.
Exit
PROTEUS
He after honour hunts, I after love:
He hunts after honor, and I hunt after love:
He leaves his friends to dignify them more,
He leaves his friends to bring more honor to them,
I leave myself, my friends and all, for love.
And I leave myself, my friends and everyone, for love.
Thou, Julia, thou hast metamorphosed me,
You, Julia, you have transformed me,
Made me neglect my studies, lose my time,
Made me neglect my studies, waste my time,
War with good counsel, set the world at nought;
Argue with good advice, and consider the world worthless;
Made wit with musing weak, heart sick with thought.
It’s made my mind weak from pondering, and my heart sick from worry.
Enter SPEED
SPEED
Sir Proteus, save you! Saw you my master?
Sir Proteus, God save you! Have you seen my master?
PROTEUS
But now he parted hence, to embark for Milan.
Just now he left here to set off for Milan.
SPEED
Twenty to one then he is shipp'd already,
Twenty to one odds that he has boarded the ship already then,
And I have play'd the sheep in losing him.
And I have made a big mistake in losing him.
PROTEUS
Indeed, a sheep doth very often stray,
It’s true, a sheep might very often wander off,
An if the shepherd be a while away.
If the shepherd isn’t near.
SPEED
You conclude that my master is a shepherd, then,
Are you saying that my master is a shepherd, then,
and I a sheep?
And I am a sheep?
PROTEUS
I do.
I am.
SPEED
Why then, my horns are his horns, whether I wake or sleep.
Well then, since he is my master, my horns are his horns, whether I am awake or asleep.
PROTEUS
A silly answer and fitting well a sheep.
That’s a silly answer and one that fits a sheep well.
SPEED
This proves me still a sheep.
This still shows me to be a sheep.
PROTEUS
True; and thy master a shepherd.
True; and your master is a shepherd.
SPEED
Nay, that I can deny by a circumstance.
No, that I can refute with a good explanation.
PROTEUS
It shall go hard but I'll prove it by another.
It will go badly, but I’ll prove it to be so by another explanation.
SPEED
The shepherd seeks the sheep, and not the sheep the
The shepherd seeks the sheep, and the sheep doesn’t seek the
shepherd; but I seek my master, and my master seeks
Shepherd; but I seek my master, and my master doesn’t seek
not me: therefore I am no sheep.
Me: therefore I am not a sheep.
PROTEUS
The sheep for fodder follow the shepherd; the
The sheep follows the shepherd for food; the
shepherd for food follows not the sheep: thou for
Shepherd doesn’t follow the sheep for food: you
wages followest thy master; thy master for wages
Follow your master for your pay; the master
follows not thee: therefore thou art a sheep.
Doesn’t follow you for pay: therefore you are a sheep.
SPEED
Such another proof will make me cry 'baa.'
Another explanation like that one will make me ‘baa’ like a sheep.
PROTEUS
But, dost thou hear? gavest thou my letter to Julia?
But are you listening? Did you give my letter to Julia?
SPEED
Ay sir: I, a lost mutton, gave your letter to her,
Yes sir: I, just a lost sheep, gave your letter to her,
a laced mutton; and she, a laced mutton, gave me, a
A lacy whore; and she, a lacy whore, gave me, a
lost mutton, nothing for my labour.
Lost sheep, nothing for my efforts.
PROTEUS
Here's too small a pasture for such store of muttons.
This place is too small of a pasture for so many sheep.
SPEED
If the ground be overcharged, you were best stick her.
If the land is overstocked, it you be better for you to kill her.
PROTEUS
Nay: in that you are astray, 'twere best pound you.
No: in that you are wrong, it would be best for me to put you in the pound.
SPEED
Nay, sir, less than a pound shall serve me for
No, sir, less than a pound will pay me for
carrying your letter.
Carrying your letter.
Translation missing: en.general.search.loading